By age thirty, I thought I would have found my soulmate.
How about you? Have you been trying to manifest your soulmate on a conscious level?
Life has been somewhat different.
My name is Jasmine Rose and I am a single mother to two children- Luna, aged three years and River who is four months.
I had been searching for my soulmate for what felt like my entire life. I have always been a romantic.
My childhood was initially happy until my parents divorced when I was eight.
This caused a deep wound in my heart; my dad eventually moved on to another family where I was no longer welcome.
My mum found another husband and had a new baby on the way.
I didn’t fit in there either. My gran offered to raise me until times changed.
I left there on my eighteenth birthday.
My family rarely told each other they loved one another.
My Gran took care of me and gave me everything I needed on a material aspect, she reminded me daily I wasn’t good enough to win the love of my parents.
I spent much of my youth seeking love, attention and validation from my peers to no avail.
As soon as I was capable of living independently, I was out the door and seeking that love, jumping from one toxic relationship to another.
One day I thought I had finally made it.
I met someone that loved and understood me.
We had a baby and was engaged to be married.
After the birth of my daughter, things began to crumble.
He stayed out after work drinking, coming home late.
I later discovered he was interested and trying to become involved someone else.
I was heartbroken but I gathered up my strength and I said “enough”.
I was done with these relationships where I felt unworthy and used.
I wanted to know why every relationship I walked into ended in disaster.
Normally I would have turned a blind eye and swept it under the carpet but I had a little girl who was watching and looking up to me.
I had to be a role model for her and show her what real love is.
I had to be strong and show her that if someone doesn’t treat you with respect you do not put up with it.
The recurring factor in all my relationships was my inability to truly love and appreciate myself.
It was at this time I reached out to a transformational love coach who helped women like me learn to love themselves.
I dived right in and allowed myself to be coached.
Within a few months, my life and my perception of myself had dramatically changed.
I started believing in myself. I started my spiritual based business- Moonchild Mother.
However, I still wasn’t entirely satisfied or happy on my own.
Part of me was still seeking love and I decided to go ahead and start manifesting another relationship.
I started looking at online dating even though my gut instinct told me not to.
Pretty soon I was dating again. I met a man who seemed perfect but I kept him at arm’s length for a while.
Clearly, I should have listened to my intuition.
When we met we hit it off pretty quickly and I chastised myself for holding myself back.
I had every intention to move slowly but things moved quickly.
I was due to start college after the summer but a month into the relationship I discovered I was pregnant.
Pretty soon the man who I thought was perfect was very different to what he had seemed.
He hated all my friends and gave me the silent treatment whenever I saw them.
He made them feel so uncomfortable when they came around that they stopped visiting.
Soon he was criticizing my weight, my appearance and told me our child would be born deformed, malnourished, obese or dead.
I began to worry that I would not carry full term as the stress and the daily fighting began to take its toll.
My healthcare providers started expressing concerns that I was in a dangerous relationship.
If I did not leave now the abuse would likely get worse.
I went to my local women’s shelter and made plans for my escape.
I relocated and focused on continuing the rest of my pregnancy alone with my daughter.
Finally, I understood that I hadn’t been ready for a relationship to begin with. I started to make peace with myself and my current situation.
This baby had been gifted to me for a special reason- one which would facilitate me in enormous emotional growth and healing.
For the first time in my life, I wasn’t looking for someone to come into my life,
I was solely focused on being the strong, independent woman I had always wanted to be.
I began to study self-development, relationships, the roles we play in them.
I became a student of Bob Proctor and the Law of Attraction.
I devoted my time to transforming and reshaping my mind.
What I share with you now, is an effective way not just to manifest a soulmate but to walk your own path as your own soulmate and feel love and happiness from within.
Be Your Own Soulmate
Becoming your own soulmate is the key to manifesting the love into your life.
It means more than practicing a few self-love techniques and throwing in a bit of self-care at the end of a busy schedule.
Yes, you need to do that kind of work, but essentially this runs deeper.
You have to start putting yourself and your life under the microscope.
Are the relationships in your life fulfilling?
Is the relationship with your parents a struggle?
Do you feel stressed out or worn out after seeing a particular friend?
How’s your job looking?
Do you like your boss?
How do you feel when you spend time alone with yourself?
Anything that is not making your heart sing with joy needs to be looked at closer.
You see everything in our life right now is a state of where our thoughts are.
If your familiar with law of attraction you’ll understand that our thoughts create our feelings which in turn inspire our actions which give us our current results.
The job you are unhappy in, the money in the bank, the relationships you have are all governed by your internal environment.
Once we start to look inwards in a loving yet assertive manner, take responsibility for our current situation we can begin to step up to walk beside ourselves as our own best friend and soulmate.
Never again will we blame anyone for our situation or the environment outside of ourselves.
Once we take a role of our part, our circumstances, our thoughts and our feelings we truly liberate ourselves.
Make a promise to yourself now that from here on in, it’s all about you.
You Attract What You Are
Just as our thoughts create our own reality; when it comes to relationships we don't always attract what we want but we attract what we are.
This is where our current paradigms or belief systems around ourselves come to play.
The best way to examine this is again looking at your current relationships and your past relationships.
Is there a recurring pattern or theme?
Are you always being cheated on?
Are you faced with a lack of commitment?
Are you often treated poorly?
Are you a magnet for narcissists, physical, emotional and sexual abuse?
Has this been a theme also in your childhood?
If you can resonate with this know that it is not your fault.
You can't control the pain and trauma that was inflicted on you.
However, when this happens to us and if we do not do the healing around us we accept the reality we are experiencing to be our truth.
We carry that pain, sadness and trauma in our hearts and we begin to vibrate on a level of pain.
One of the biggest paradigms I have seen in others and in myself is the ongoing theme “I'm not enough" and low and behold we attract relationships based on that story we unconsciously tell ourselves.
We need to break these paradigms and replacing them with new ones.
There are only two ways to change the beliefs in the subconscious mind- intense pain/ trauma or repetition.
You need to flood your unconscious mind with love and positivity.
One of the ways I recommend that you do this is to write a list of what you would want to give love to?
What bits of your body don't you like?
What behaviors don't you like?
Make a list and rephrase them with “I love and appreciate my belly, I am so grateful that my belly held my two beautiful children” “I am enough”.
Write them out and record them. Listen to them daily and over-night while you sleep.
The sound of your own voice saying these are so powerful.
You may not believe it right now but give it a few weeks to allow it to sink in and you will feel yourself changing and you will start to grow to truly love yourself.
Now it is time to start loving yourself completely.
Treat yourself the way you would a precious child.
One of the biggest things I struggled with over the years was that I didn't really know what that looked like other than the occasional bubble bath with a bath bomb.
A lot of the time I thought it was buying myself stuff to feel better.
I now know it’s not the way although do reward yourself from time to time if you enjoy something that makes you feel good like a special dress, a haircut, a manicure, an activity you enjoy like a gym pass.
Self-love is something we need to incorporate into our daily routines.
Think back to when you were a child.
Did you have a family member that truly nurtured you, made you feel safe and loved?
In essence, we need to adapt to a motherly role towards ourselves.
What’s your morning routine like?
Are you priming yourself for love and success?
First thing in the morning I get up and I start to play my affirmations and my goals.
I pop on an audiobook- usually The Power by Rhonda Byrne
or something by Abraham Hicks.
Get it on and get ready for an amazing day.
Start to imagine how good your day is going to be.
Imagine unexpected surprises that lift you up.
Be grateful for all you have by saying thank-you for everything you see around you.
Take a little bit extra time over your appearance, have a healthy, energizing breakfast and head out the door with joy in your heart even if you have to fake it till you make it.
You will begin to see the difference echoed back to you in your reality.
People will start to notice a change in you that they haven’t seen before and they will want to know what you are doing.
Make sure you have time in your schedule to have fun with friends and do the things that you really love.
In the evening- just like you have a morning routine, set up an evening routine to aid you in winding down for the evening.
Have a delicious meal.
Run yourself a bath with Epson salts and essential oils.
Wind down with your favorite book or movie and get to bed at a decent time so that you are rested for the day ahead.
Even if you find at the beginning of these exercises that you don’t feel great, as you play along with this you’ll gradually catch yourself being happy in the moment.
Rocketing into the high vibration of love.
I tell you it is a wonderful thing when this happens.
You feel the genuine excitement as you ease into the flow.
More and more wonderful things begin to you.
Your new vibe will begin to attract new people around you.
The old relationships that haven’t been working for you recently will either begin to heal or fall away from your life.
You see now how easy for your soulmate to find you now?
Set the vibe and attract your tribe.
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It’s All About Those Boundaries Baby
Before we get clear about what you really want we need to clean up the energy in your life.
This ensures that you are not attracting the residue or unhealed aspects of your past life or relationships you must look at ensuring that you have had closure.
Unfinished business will attract more unfinished business.
Do you have an ex that still hangs on?
Do you have an ex you’re still sleeping with or a no strings attached situation?
Are there elements of a relationship that still has baggage?
Do you have children with your ex and are you on good terms?
Some of my exes I am still good friends with.
The relationship between my daughter’s dad and I has seen some of the biggest improvements.
We used to hold a lot of anger towards one another.
When I started to cut energetic cords with him and release my anger, it started to dissipate between us and our friendship grew over time.
I have a full detailed description on how to do this which you can read here: http://moonchildmother.com/index.php/2018/01/04/how-to-release-your-ex/
Work on your energetic boundaries every single day.
Where could you say No instead of saying yes?
Where do you need to take risks and say Yes instead of No?
Do you leave yourself with no time because you are always helping or giving to others?
Make rest and filling your own cup your top priority.
It’s fine to help others but tune in to see where your energy is best spent.
Helping others shouldn’t have you feeling like your exhausted and dragged down.
It should help you feel replenished.
What do you really want?
It’s time to get specific about how you want your relationship to look like and what kind of partner you want to attract.
You may not know what you want.
When you have had a lifetime of pain and disappointment, the idea of what you want may seem impossible.
You may not dare to dream.
If this is how you feel I would suggest following what I have said up until now until you feel ready and you have a clear idea.
Once you get into that high vibe, happy state, make your list of all the qualities you want your partner to have.
How do they make you feel?
What interests do they have?
Will they support you in your goals?
What does that support look like?
In what ways do they value you?
What kind of “memories” will you make?
Get daydreaming, get carried away.
What happens the first day you move in together?
What kind of dates do you have? When you have it clear in your mind, write it down.
Like you did with your affirmations, record it and listen to it every single day while seeing it in your mind’s eye.
Then I want you to forget about it almost.
Don’t get caught up in the how it will happen.
Just listen, visualize and know it is coming.
Be open to the hundreds of possibilities out there.
Do not go actively seeking and causing resistance- the universe generally takes the path of least resistance.
Go out and have some fun with your friends- who knows who you will be introduced to, take risks outside your comfort zone which encourage your own emotional growth.
Make the Space for Love to Come In
You are actively working on you. You are being your own soulmate.
You're changing the way you feel about yourself, reprogramming your mind for love.
You are incorporating love and care into your daily routine.
You are cleaning up the energy around you and healing from your past.
You have asked the universe to send your soulmate.
Now we need to create the space for them to come into your life. and we achieve this by creating the “vacuum” effect.
This is where you create space for the new to come in.
Have a clear out of your home and declutter from everything that you no longer need or that which no longer serves you and give thanks for it being in your life.
You can also do this with the relationships and friendships that are no longer serving you.
Go through every room in your house.
Donate items from previous relationships that hurt you to look at.
Clear out your wardrobe and keep only the clothes you have worn in the past six months and make you feel completely amazing when you wear them.
Ask yourself is there space for a new partner to enter your life?
Clear out or down-scale your closet, making space for your partner’s half.
Set the place at the table for an extra person at meal times.
Sleep on one side of the bed. Show the universe that there is space to be filled and he or she will come.
Start to spend the time visiting the places you would reserve only for a date.
Take yourself on a dinner date, a sight-seeing tour.
Pretend to be a tourist for the day and visit museums and see the wonders of your city and beyond.
Go for a picnic and pack some champagne and strawberries.
For now, you could be going alone but who knows who you may meet along the way.
I have given you the steps to manifest your soulmate.
I have seen this bring phenomenal results in the form of soulmates, love, inner peace, love of self and happiness.
You may manifest your soulmate or maybe you’ll be like me and choose to walk in harmony with yourself, being completely happy within yourself just a little while longer.
I look forward to hearing your results.
** Be your Own Soulmate course will be available as September 2018
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